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So I got asked to write up something on Porn...Me...Ok, ok, FINE.
Well first off, I admit It- As far as porn is concerned, I know pretty much bugger all, except that as a kid I used to get a tingle when a guy lost his pants on “You’ve been Framed”.

Basically, there have been very few notches on the old Walsh bedpost… especially by Gay terms. 
I lost my 'virginity' (you know what I mean) at 27 years old, I’ve never had a one-night stand, and I could count all my shags on one hand.
So what do I know about porn?
Bugger all, I hear you say.
And rightly so.
Though, I do know that I like it. That is, unless there is two people and one cup involved.

Sex was always weird for me. 
By an ugly twist of fate, I had to perform sexual acts at too young an age. I didn’t understand what the hell it was, what it meant, and what the effects of it would do to my mind later on.
Because of that, for many years, I saw it as nothing but a desperate attempt for help and protection.


Now the joker in me wants to tell you that ‘I had many years to perfect my foreplay’... (Cue awkward chuckle)

That’s my way I guess, as a child who was abused has to come to terms with it, and to try not become a complete social retard.
Despite the empathy, It is not a subject of social gatherings and hootenannies. It’s a turn off. And I never speak about it. Ever.
Not just because I find it unacceptable in social circumstances, but also because I have spent many years battling that demon, and with help over the years, I have dealt with it my way. I guess years of being scared to tell people in your family goes along with it too. It was my past that I have had to accept and finally put down.
It is not happening any more, and the person to blame was eventually found out. Not through me, but through his own sexual appitite for young boys in our family.
And that was the end of it, and the very moment also, that I decided that I had to let it go.
I have no need for attention. Generally, I hate it, to be honest.
But there are far too many people about, that use some painful memory as a way of attention, acceptance, or even blame for being (to put it bluntly) an Arsehole.
But of course, I did write about it.
That’s been a big social problem for me, having so many people these days knowing all about my past through those books. One minute I’m a good looking, interesting, funny guy… then I suddenly get a Text from my latest lover saying he’s reading my books, and as soon as we meet again, I’ve gone from Blossom’s Brother Joey, To Christina Crawford. NOT a turn on.
I actually said once in an interview with Gay Times that “nobody wants to fuck the abused child”
I believe I may have cursed myself that very day!
So yes. That is my Sex life. I’ve had some fascinating ex’s though...but thats another story.
On the whole, the subject of sex for me has always been a bit of a weird one. 

Gypsies, if you didn’t know, are not allowed to talk about sex… ever. Girls would have to avoid men when they were on their period, and they were not allowed to use tampons, through fear that they would lose their virginity to it, before the wedding bed.
We are allowed to swear like troopers, but one mention of the “S” word would get us a good clip round the ear-ole. As did happen, when I said it in front of my granny, when not only did I get that clip, but she also screamed “Don’t ever use them filthy words again, you little c*nt”

Ah, the paradox in Gypsies language and their take on social decency. How I miss it so.

Xxxx

Mikey

 


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