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I find it very difficult to talk about my feelings to people. 
Not because I’m disconnected to myself in any way, but because I feel that to say I was actually unhappy sometimes, would let people down. 
The truth is, I  get lonely. And I still have to deal with my demons day after day.
Sadly, Writing so much about my growing up didn’t award me with a 'Cure' to be a Disney princess in the final act.


It’s very strange, and often very hard to be known and regarded as someone who has suffered in some horrible way - to actually meet someone in person who’s read my books, to realise moments later, that they’re suffering too themselves for being able to say something other than ‘I’m sorry’. 
I cant even begin to tell you what its done to my dating life…YIKES.

So, this became part of my writings success that I had not given thought to, & never expected to happen.
I never saw my life as hard, or tragic, or something that burdened me in my present state.
But try telling that to so many that have such preconceptions of who Mikey Walsh is.
As the construction of this film's been going on, I’ve been attending quite a lot of film meetings. The movie based crew of Suited Men and women with Great hair gather and speak in great bellowing voices, and me, I mostly show up as a kind of mascot to seal each new step of the process. 

In these circumstances, i’ve found that “overplaying happy” to the point of a heyday Timmy Mallet has been the best way to get through a meeting and make people feel at ease.
Of course, I'm still unable to say sweet F.A about it yet, but It’s  been a phenomenal experience so far.

Sometimes though, and usually at this time of night, I can’t help but sit and think to myself ...

'Is this what i wanted with my life?'...

I remember my first Boyfriend so vividly. 

I think of him so much, still to this day. I haven't even seen or spoken to him in 15 years.
He worked as a barman in an arcade…And To me, as a young Gypsy kid, it was the most incredible job in the world. and he was the most incredible man for having it.
Back then, amongst my culture, I knew it was something I would never be able to be, no matter how much I craved it.
Years have passed and I still can't thank him enough, for loving me as he did, and to have taken me away from my life and to have given me the opportunity to live as a “normal person”

Today, I feel I've strayed very far from my path.

I LOVE to write. And I am so very lucky to have had the success that I have had with my work. The support I have had from my books have been so moving, and so incredible, it has surpassed my own belief. I owe the readers of my work so very much.

I wrote in the dedication of my books ‘I wrote this just for you’

And I truly mean that.

This story wasn’t just about some Gypsy Boy’s life, or for my own therapy. It was every reader’s story too. For us to know that we are NOT alone. That things CAN change, and to know, that no matter what happens… we must never give up hope, and under no circumstances, Ever ‘face the facts’.
Now with my story done, I find I spend a lot of days feeling as if I’m living out the last page, day after day… My goals have been ticked…And I have to admit… it’s lonely.
And so, now I am thinking of change…
Maybe it’s the Gypsy in me that craves it; Maybe it’s the fact that despite the millions of people that live in London, it’s one of the most emotionally desolate and isolated places in the world.
I crave a small town. A little flat for me And my dog, a corner shop nearby and a job in a little gay pub, where I can chat to regulars, Date a nice nine to five office bloke make wonderful friends, and care even less about society’s obsession with “Career”

Of course… all this “London life” work here makes this not so possible… 



But someday. Definitely someday.

 


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