Those Traits of Bullies...

Whoever has gone through life without ever facing being bullied is a bloody lucky person.

Whether at school, online, by a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or even a member of your own family, there’s always that somebody who passes through our lives and managed to dig themselves into our psyche and left that niggling, negative scar…sometimes quite literally.

I’ve got quite a few of that kind myself.

Six different scars across parts of my face, a nose that has been broken again and again, (thankfully now fixed) and a scar in my left pupil, given to me by a gorilla that thought it would be funny to burn my eye out with a lighter, when his girlfriend said I had beautiful eyes.

Life back at home on the camp, amongst the macho and very few words, was quite a chore as a closeted gay teen.

I must say though, beyond all the literal scars, it is the mental ones that remain the most damaging to me personally.

And they go far beyond my childhood.

I’m not sure of how certain I am, but it seems that my low self-esteem attracts this kind of person…and I hate to believe that some might even say that I am subconsciously attracted to them.

Weird isn’t it?... To be a victim to bulling destroys our self worth and brings forth the vicious cycle of never having enough of it in the future to realise when a person is treating us badly… and I dread to say, even feel that you could not do any better, because we have gotten accustomed to it.

I am speaking now about the people who bully you, who are supposed to be those closest to you, and love you. Because this kind of bully I find the most terrible of all.

I have not had many Boyfriends. I seem to spend more time getting over people than being with them.

I spent this last year beating myself up once again for letting another abusive partner into my life.

Love is very much blind. And for some people, loving them, will never be enough.

The insecure guy with no self worth wants to say to you now that my list of bad choices were all my fault.

That I deserved it all for being so stupid. And then, off I go again, looking for another soul who I hope to save in exchange for their love for me.

But despite those feelings of loss, I know, that anyone that has been through such relationships are better off alone, than to be with a person who could bring themselves to act in such a way toward you.

The thing I’ve found in Bullies is that there is just no reasoning that can be excused for them.

And, If abusive and cruel enough, they are also clever enough to justify to their own selves that what they are doing, and how they are acting toward you is not of their fault and is well deserved.

There is no reasoning with this kind of mentality.

Please…

If you are in a situation like this, get out while you can still lift your head.

From this moment on, it will be YOUR time, and you need to start doing the logical thing, to do what’s right for your own self, even if it feels like you’re “taking the ring to Mordor” to do so.

I would like you to remember…when you are at your most low…when you are being victimised or made to feel bad just for being you.

You are NOT alone…

These people only do this to you because of how brilliant you are.

How they envy, fear and loathe you, just because they could never be half of what you are right now.
And To hurt you, is their only sick hope of bringing you down to their level.
And these people do not even deserve your response.
Whether they’ve hurt you, whether they’ve make you feel absolutely worthless,
You can’t help but be sensitive…but they should never deserve to see the effects of their ways.
So do what you have to do, to save yourself from these Bullies. Walk away, hold on to those people that genuinely love you, seek help, block and report, ignore…do anything possible to help you out of it.
And above all… never give a bully what they want… to see your pain.
You are who you are, and everyone deserves to be loved and respected.

Keep your Chin up, lovely person

Much love to you

xxx

Mikey

 


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